Kindness is Asking More, Not Less

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
From “The Lion and the Mouse,” by Aesop

I have been very conscious of that quote most of my life. It is printed next to my photo in my high school yearbook. Now it sits on my desk- I saved it from a mailing asking for a donation. There could be no better example of a “goodie two shoes” than me. In junior high I had an article in the school paper written about me called, “A Friendly Face.” My daughters roasted me during my 50th birthday bash. They tried to collect “wild and crazy” stories about me and no one had anything to say! Instead they came up with “The Top Ten Reasons Why Mom’s a Goodie Two Shoes.” (One of them was the article!) I was quoted as giving this advice to make friends, “Don’t get hang-ups on how people act, say hello first, try not to be angry and obnoxious, and be patient.” What brilliance from a ninth grader! These are true examples of being kind first and asking questions later.

Kindness for others doesn’t always transfer over to kindness to myself. I can be overly critical or think little of my abilities, my methods, my orderliness. My lack of ambition was directly proportional to my confidence and belief in myself. If I am now kinder to myself, it is because I am asking more of myself instead of expecting little. I am seeing that more is possible and I am capable of great things. When I ask more of myself and then make myself accountable to doing and being that person I am meant to be, the excuses stop and the soaring begins. I am now patient and forgiving to myself. I am not perfect nor do I expect to be. If I have a bad day on my diet or exercise regimen, I don’t have to give up completely. I WILL be 150 pounds and tone again. I now know that with certainty (15 pounds to go). AND since there is no urgency and I have a bad back, I am being so kind to myself as to not put a strict time frame to it. As long as I see improvement in my way of being, I am happy. I have a time goal AND it’s OK if I don’t reach it exactly. The journey is the important part; becoming the “ME” I am meant to BE.

Some synonyms for Kindness are compassion, sympathy, gentleness, benevolence, kindheartedness, thoughtfulness, consideration, helpfulness and humanity. Its antonym is cruelty. This leads to interesting questions.
How are you being cruel to yourself?
Do you demand too much of yourself or expect too little because you “just can’t do it?”
What have you convinced yourself is impossible that you truly want for yourself?

I now believe that everyone is capable of great things if they would just get out of their own way! When we believe our own stories of fear, self-doubt or ineptness, we are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Show yourself some kindness by believing that your goals and dreams CAN come true. You CAN make them happen. Whether it is your health, your business or something else, making it happen begins with being kind and compassionate to yourself in believing it is possible. Ask more of yourself and not less. Accept it is possible without spinning the stories and the doubt. Say yes first, and be patient.