Forgiveness and apologies

“We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because we love ourselves so much we don’t want to keep paying for the injustice.”
Quote from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself and to the person you are forgiving. If you hold on to a grudge it will eat away at you and your other relationships. Many a family, friendship, and work setting has been torn apart by a grudge. I know from direct experience.

If someone offends you in some way, I'd like you to keep a few things in mind.
*They may not have intended to hurt you.
*There might be information you are not aware of.
*If their offense is connected to a personality trait, (she's always so nosey), it may actually be your interpretation of that trait. Maybe she is just curious, or socially awkward, trying to fit in...
*You can't change another person, you can only change what you think and what you do about it.

Apologies and forgiveness. They go hand in hand. As someone who has a hard time with apologies, I will admit I had a hard time forgiving as well. Now I try to offer them up as instantly as I perceive they are needed. We are all human and humans make mistakes. To believe otherwise is foolishness.

So go out there and make amends where ever it is needed. Everyone deserves a second chance. You will feel better, and so will they! That's what peace of mind is all about- to know that you have done everything possible for yourself and others. Let go of that grudge!

What are you resisting?

I have just about finished preparing my taxes. Woo Hoo! Taxes are the bain of my existence. I have done my own taxes all my life- until last year. I got myself and my husband through 28 years of 1099's, Schedule A's, listing assorted deductions, and even 12 years of a Schedule C for my Discovery Toys business. We bought and sold homes, lived in one state and worked in another (for 18 years now), and so on, and so on. I resist tackling my taxes every year, and when I get around to doing the work- assembling all the forms that come in the mail, going through my checkbook and credit card statements, it ends up being about 15 hours of work. All that resisting for a weekend's worth of stick-to-itiveness. (I know that's not a word).
I guess what I'm getting at is that thinking about and worrying about something for 3 months, that I can really just plow through in a weekend, is ridiculous.
As a life coach I know I am resisting my taxes for a reason, so I have decided to get to the root of the problem and fix it. I realize that I have to be willing to do things I don't enjoy doing every once in a while (like getting a mammogram and a colonoscopy). I know I have other pressing things to do but it doesn't pay to wait to the last minute, especially when we're getting OUR money back. I know I am resisting the fact that this has been my "role" for over 30 years. I have "role nausea!" My husband wouldn't touch the taxes. If I don't do it, who will? Last year I finally brought my taxes to an accountant, but now that I have a business as a coach, I still have to do a ton of organizing of expenses. So those 15 hours are still with me no matter what.
How do I make this easier for next year? If I put a system in place that finishes my 15 hours of prep on December 31st, I could bring my forms to the accountant as soon as I have them all. Brilliant! I have this same thought every year in March. I get things ready for the new year up to March, and then I never look at it again till next March. Drat, it means I have to actually USE the system from March to December! What would that look like?
I will put receipts in the same place when I get them. (I've done a pretty good job of that so far.)
Each week I will enter any receipts and income into my system (excel? quickbooks?) 15 hours of bookkeeping divided by 12 months is only about an hour and 15 minutes every month, or 20 minutes a week. Now, when is a good time each week?
Each time I drive for business or charity I will log it into my book (keep log in the car).
Each bank or credit card statement will be checked for expenses for my business and entered into my system.
Each week after I do my bookkeeping I will treat myself in some way.
I think I can handle 20 minutes a week for the peace of mind I'll have next January. I'll keep you posted.

So what are YOU resisting and why? What are you willing to do that will ease the situation? That which we resist persists, so we might as well look at why we are resisting and find a new way of looking at the issue!
Good luck!