Technology Overcome!

Hi Everyone,
This is round two of the same post, as I work out some technology- like what frozen picture you see of me before you start the video, or when you get the post in your email.  Hopefully I don't look like one of those Christmas Carolers in mid word with a round mouth and squinted eyes!  Bear with me as I travel on my learning curve....

Check out my new video abilities.  Necessity is truly the motivating force for overcoming an obstacle like technology.
What technology challenge has you stumped?  It's time to over come it! If you have a Mac you can go to any Apple store and get free help in 20-30 minutes doses (though I chose to do the "I'll try to do this myself" method).  If you don't have a Mac, there is likely to be some teenager in your life who knows a lot more than you.  Barter for some help!
Good luck.
~Monica
PS If you are seeing a still photo in your blackberry or email, go to the actual blog for the video.

The Aftermath of a Life-altering event

It's 10 days since my daughter's wedding and I'm still not back to my "schedule." Of course, my life has NO schedule, so there lies the problem. I've spent the better part of the last 3 months so engrossed with Melissa's wedding- calls to vendors and my daughters, working on all the details, thinking proactively to anticipate every moment and potential issue, making lists, etc, that I don't know what a normal schedule is any more.

How do you get back into a routine after a life-altering or all-consuming event?

I suppose if I had a 9-5 job or young kids at home to force me into a routine, that might help. Instead, I work from home and much of my motivation has to come from within.
It's 1pm and I've done a million things today (except get dressed).
*Client call at 8am.
*Breakfast routine for my dog Celtie and me.
*30 minutes reading "Wedding Goddess" for my market analysis for book proposal (I am writing a book called The Empowered Bride and working on the proposal to send to an agent).
*Semi-Quick look through emails
*30 minute call about a community service fundraiser I am doing this Friday
*45 minute chat with my older daughter Christine (got a kick in the butt to keep writing so I can sell lots of books, promote my business, and help my husband retire early.)

I have a call at 3 with a fellow coach who is going to ask me if I made the promised number of calls I said I would make by 3pm. These are business calls mind you. So far, I have made 0 business calls. I'd rather read Wedding Goddess and see how MY book will be better! My accountability is at question, so now I am in a panic!

There is the nagging thought that I SHOULD get the house clean and walk the dog and put away a few last wedding items or prepare for Melissa and Chris' return from their honeymoon. They will stay with us for a day and then head to Virginia (sniff!)
Even my blogging gets distracted by talking about semi-wedding stuff!

I hate the word SHOULD so I am going to do what I want to do right now.
I am going to get dressed and call some wedding vendors and set up appointments to talk about my book and my wedding coaching service and see where that gets me!

As for the aftermath of a life-altering event, I guess declaring a schedule and getting dressed first would help!
Any other suggestions? Please help!

Forgiveness and apologies

“We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because we love ourselves so much we don’t want to keep paying for the injustice.”
Quote from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself and to the person you are forgiving. If you hold on to a grudge it will eat away at you and your other relationships. Many a family, friendship, and work setting has been torn apart by a grudge. I know from direct experience.

If someone offends you in some way, I'd like you to keep a few things in mind.
*They may not have intended to hurt you.
*There might be information you are not aware of.
*If their offense is connected to a personality trait, (she's always so nosey), it may actually be your interpretation of that trait. Maybe she is just curious, or socially awkward, trying to fit in...
*You can't change another person, you can only change what you think and what you do about it.

Apologies and forgiveness. They go hand in hand. As someone who has a hard time with apologies, I will admit I had a hard time forgiving as well. Now I try to offer them up as instantly as I perceive they are needed. We are all human and humans make mistakes. To believe otherwise is foolishness.

So go out there and make amends where ever it is needed. Everyone deserves a second chance. You will feel better, and so will they! That's what peace of mind is all about- to know that you have done everything possible for yourself and others. Let go of that grudge!

My daughter's wedding

After 10 months of planning and a life time of anticipation, my youngest daughter Melissa was married on August 28, 2010. It was a beautiful wedding and we are very happy with her choice for a husband. Chris went to school with Melissa at the University of Mary Washington and they have known each other for 6 years.

I have written all about the wedding prep and wedding day (including pictures) in my other blog. Check it out! www.theempoweredbride.com/blog.


As a coach, I'd like to say that my daughter and I did everything right. It was my third try at being Mother of...and things got better each time. We talked about things ahead of time, we planned together as a team, we were honest about our feelings after missteps were taken (only a few), and we were able to share this whole process with my other daughter Christine (a truly amazing wedding planner).
If we had the chance to do it all over again, I don't know what we would change (besides a few minor details) because honestly, it was picture perfect.


The mother-daughter relationship is a very special bond. When it's right it adds such pleasure to your life. I am blessed to say I have that with both my daughters. Our relationship will be in transition for a while as she settles into the new role of wife, not to mention settling into her new home in VA with her husband Chris.

Wow! My children are all married. And now I am officially in an empty nest. I guess it's time for me to ramp up my connection with my husband Steve! We are taking a long-overdue trip for our 30th wedding anniversary to Rome and a cruise in the Mediterranean.

As for my professional life, I am coaching, networking, and doing presentations on a number of subjects. I am also working on a book called The Empowered Bride. Next will be something for The Mother of the Bride. After 3 children getting married in just over 3 years, I have much insight to share and want to fill the void of relationship knowledge in the midst of planning a wedding.

Here's to Melissa and Chris, the newlyweds, and the life they will share together.

I finally did it!

I am a life coach. With that comes the responsibility of doing the things I encourage my clients to do- like de-clutter or get my house in order. De-cluttering has always been a problem of mine. I get attached to things, I save too much, I don't take the time to set up a system or put things away or file for that matter. Then after things pile up, I get frustrated and try to tackle it.

For the last 15 months it has been my goal to clean up my bedroom. I moved here 4 years ago and still hadn't put everything away. I was almost done last summer when I stopped short of completion. What was left was the 3 boxes of papers that needed sorting, thinning out, or filing. The desk had a layer of old bills and notes about this and that. My dresser had piles of winter socks and assorted small items. My side of the bathroom vanity was piled high with makeup, hair products and jewelry.

This year I've been motivated by the fact that my daughter is getting married and the photographer will be taking pictures upstairs- Melissa getting ready, Melissa and her bridal party, Melissa and her proud mom, whatever!

So yesterday, after talking with MY life coach (yes I have a coach too)about why I've been resisting the final push, I set up a schedule and did it! I stayed focused on the task. I resisted my computer, the phone, the to-do list,the refrigerator and my dog. Now the taxes are all filed, the papers are put away, and donations are in a bag heading to Goodwill. I even tackled the master bath. Toiletries are thinned out and shelved, and the jewelry is organized.

I am quite proud of myself. When I woke up this morning, I no longer had to look at a messy desk or bookshelf, cluttered corners or a messy bathroom. I could open my eyes and enjoy what I was seeing! The wedding is 10 days away and I am ready. Woo Hoo!

See beyond the obstacles

I don't usually talk about my spiritual life publicly, but this week's church sermon really got me thinking. We had a guest priest in church this past weekend, an Irish friend of our pastor. He mentioned the story of St. Bernadette, who heard the voice of Mary every day for 2 weeks. Mary asked Bernadette to visit the grotto day after day until it started to draw very large crowds. (Her hometown of Lourdes, France is now famous because of Bernadette), but by the 14th day the police had blocked off the grotto. Bernadette had to go to the other side of the stream, climb up the terrain a bit and look down on the grotto from a distance, beyond all the obstacles, in order to see Mary in the grotto. Father Harris made the comparison to our lives, where we come to church daily or weekly to be with God and get beyond all the obstacles in our lives; work and family demands, technology, the hustle and bustle of life.

This concept of seeing our lives from above the obstacles is what life coaching has done for me and what I try to do for my clients. Don't let the hustle and bustle of life, along with its demands and obstacles, keep you from seeing what your life purpose is. Don't let the inner obstacles of fear or doubt keep you from living the life that you are meant to live. Where is your focus? The distractions or the distant path yet traveled?

Take some time to envision the possible paths your life can take.
Make the time to evaluate the obstacles that are keeping you blocked.
Create a plan or strategy to bust through the obstacles now, before you waste more time submitting to your fears, doubts, and trivialities of life.
Make your life mean something powerful.
And finally, connect to what ever spirituality allows you to be one with yourself without judgment or criticism. Accept who you are and be the best you can be.

Have a great day.
~Monica

A Healthy Lifestyle

A doctor will tell you to quit smoking, a health teacher will tell you ways to avoid getting sexually transmitted diseases, the TV will remind you of the many chronic illnesses to avoid like Emphysema, Diabetes, Heart Attacks, etc. The average American woman can probably tell you at least 20 health tips off the top of her head, like drinking more water, avoiding saturated fats, not adding too much salt or sugar to her diet, exercising 30 minutes a day, and giving up sweetened drinks. What most of them have in common is sacrifice, which is why most women don’t follow their own knowledge of how to live a healthier life.

So what will help people choose to follow healthier habits? I believe that working with a life coach can help a person flush out the reasons why she is choosing the wrong habits and help her choose a better way to live. A life coach can help her client assess how she is currently living, what is causing stress and anxiety in her life, and what is NOT working for her. She is then able develop the intentions and strong conviction to reassess her lifestyle, not for a fad diet, but to make life-long changes that come from a new awareness and confidence.

Consistently living healthy habits is more of a mental health issue than a lack of knowledge, for the most part. A happy and fulfilled person who knows how to deal with life’s issues is not the kind of person to binge on sweets or take risks with their health. A woman who is comfortable in her own skin and in healthy relationships with those around her, is emotionally more stable and less likely to fall victim to poor health habits.

As a whole life coach, and a relationship coach, I help women flourish in all aspects of their lives; from personal growth to health and career. If one area of your life is unfulfilled or causing anxiety, it will have an effect on all areas of your life. I enjoy helping my clients see the big picture.

If this interests you, I hope you will contact me for a free consultation.
monica@newstepslifecoaching.com