Enjoying the Holidays on the Road

"What will your children remember? Moments spent listening, talking, playing and sharing together may be the most important times of all."

-- Gloria Gaither

Our youngest daughter went to college in Fredericksburg, VA, over 300 miles from home.  It’s a beautiful town, full of character and history, which is right up my husband’s alley.  Steve loved to see the town all lit up in its festive glory for the holiday season.  It became a tradition to go down to VA together a day early when we picked Melissa up for Christmas break.  We would stay at the Kenmore Inn, a historic old mansion that offered a comfortable home base for our exploring.

When Melissa graduated from college and we no longer had the excuse to go to Fredericksburg, it was a little bittersweet.  So now that she is married and living in Alexandria, we decided to go visit her and Christopher and plan a day trip to Fredericksburg. I think the kids were more excited to see the changes to the college campus, though jumping in and out of the shops on Main St. was fun too.  We found some great gifts for family members and had a wonderful lunch in the local pub.

Ironically, we watched the town’s Main St transform into the bustling sideshow for their Christmas Parade, and stores closed early to enjoy the event.  We could have had front row seats, but we chose to get out of town before the traffic turned into a bottleneck. We didn’t get to the James Monroe Museum or the Apothecary where my daughter used to work in her 1780’s costume, but we had fun, and enjoyed sharing our favorite stores, gift ideas and spending time with each other.

The next day we explored Old Towne Alexandria, which is about 10 times the size of downtown Fredericksburg and has even more to offer.  I see the tradition transforming before our eyes!

What family moments do you remember that you can repeat?  What tradition do you want to resurrect?  Or what new tradition would you like to start for the next generation?  The sky’s the limit.

Be grateful, be glad, and be joyful

I just saw a quote today that struck to the core of human relationships. It was written in 1790 by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."

As we head into the holiday season, we can approach the world in a few different ways. Having "The Christmas Spirit" through the eyes of Goethe might be to have a personal approach and a mood that will create a humanizing response to anything that goes on; forgiving, generous, hopeful. If you are a "Scrooge," you might be short-tempered, quick to blame, ready to pick a fight. Which temperament do you choose to carry with you this holiday season and for the rest of your life?

"If we treat people as they are, we make them worse." What does that mean? One thing I think it means is that if someone is grumpy or short with you and you respond in kind, you take yourself down to their level instead of bringing them up to yours. That only escalates the de-humanizing way we treat each other. If instead you react cheerfully and with humor and respect, "and treat them as they ought to be," you are both lifted to a level of common decency that you can feel good about. If they don't follow suit, it is their problem, not yours. Don't let them turn you into a Scrooge.

For this holiday season and the years to come:
Think of all that is possible, not about past short-falls.
Think the most of people, not about their short-comings.
Think how YOU can make things better, not about what others SHOULD do.
Call me a Pollyanna, but I'd rather be glad than mad. I'd rather look for the good in people and believe they are capable of great things, than assume the worst and prove my thoughts right.
Let's help people "become what they are capable of becoming."

I am grateful for my family, the people in my life, and the path that has lead me to writing this blog!
Have a great and grateful holiday season with family and friends.