Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a "Hallmark Card Day," AND it's an excuse to focus on your relationships. 
All relationships can benefit from some positivity, fun, and emotional connection.
So here are 5 Steps to a Happy Valentine's Day with your Life Partner
1. Let go of any pressing to-do's and concentrate on your partner. 
2. Smile
3. Show appreciation and gratitude for what your partner brings to your life- something like:  "I'm so happy you came into my life, you really make me feel special and loved."
4. Think about what you can do for the sake of the relationship (and not hold it over their head or as a reason that they should do something back).  Give it as a gift.
5. Stay connected to why you are with this person in the first place.

John Gottman, author of "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," states that in order for a relationship to thrive, you need a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interaction.
That applies to your spouse, your kids, your co-workers, and your friends.
Steps 2-4 above are all about positive interaction.
Remember that rule and add positivity to every relationship.

Happy Valentine's Day.
Monica

Be grateful, be glad, and be joyful

I just saw a quote today that struck to the core of human relationships. It was written in 1790 by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."

As we head into the holiday season, we can approach the world in a few different ways. Having "The Christmas Spirit" through the eyes of Goethe might be to have a personal approach and a mood that will create a humanizing response to anything that goes on; forgiving, generous, hopeful. If you are a "Scrooge," you might be short-tempered, quick to blame, ready to pick a fight. Which temperament do you choose to carry with you this holiday season and for the rest of your life?

"If we treat people as they are, we make them worse." What does that mean? One thing I think it means is that if someone is grumpy or short with you and you respond in kind, you take yourself down to their level instead of bringing them up to yours. That only escalates the de-humanizing way we treat each other. If instead you react cheerfully and with humor and respect, "and treat them as they ought to be," you are both lifted to a level of common decency that you can feel good about. If they don't follow suit, it is their problem, not yours. Don't let them turn you into a Scrooge.

For this holiday season and the years to come:
Think of all that is possible, not about past short-falls.
Think the most of people, not about their short-comings.
Think how YOU can make things better, not about what others SHOULD do.
Call me a Pollyanna, but I'd rather be glad than mad. I'd rather look for the good in people and believe they are capable of great things, than assume the worst and prove my thoughts right.
Let's help people "become what they are capable of becoming."

I am grateful for my family, the people in my life, and the path that has lead me to writing this blog!
Have a great and grateful holiday season with family and friends.