Relationship Tip #1

I have a unique opportunity to be a published author, part of an Anthology book with about 35 other women.  (Release date March 7, more info later.) I'm writing about my personal and professional transformation over the last few years.  Not only did I become a life and relationship coach, I became conscious of the world of relationships;  how to recognize relationship toxins and how to make conscious choices that will strengthen and nourish rather than isolate and destroy.

Relationship Tip #1 If you treasure your relationships, keep that in mind when difficulties arise. Let your actions be for the good of the relationship, not the good of your pride.

To put it another way: What is more important, the long-term health of a relationship, or winning a small battle?
If you do something that makes someone feel angry, annoyed, unheard, ignored, diminished, wrong, stupid, unimportant, etc, then admit it and apologize.  Most of the time, we don't mean to make others feel bad.  All the more reason to acknowledge that you messed up and are sorry. This is the perfect opportunity to let that other person know how much you mean to them.  Share what you treasure about your relationship and clear up any misunderstandings before they can grow into disasters.
When someone feels heard and cared for, they are able to connect with you on a whole new level.

Case in point: I had a co-facilitator on an on-going project and I was doing something that really bothered her but she hadn't shared it with me.  When she finally did, I swallowed my pride, consciously chose to apologize instead of getting defensive, and asked her what she needed me to do in order for her to feel better about things.  I didn't realize my actions were bothering her but her complaint made sense and we agreed on an action that kept us both happy. 
Imagine the outcome if I had gotten defensive.  It would have sounded more like, "I'm right and you're wrong." 
Imagine if she had yelled at me and criticized me instead of calmly expressing what was bothering her.
Remember this scenario the next time your boss says something to you or your teen makes a mistake. 
If you remain calm and keep the long-term goal of your relationship in mind, you will make the right choices.

Think of your relationship as its own separate entity.  It has needs and wants.  It needs good communication.  It needs nourishment, positive interactions, caring and love.  It needs teamwork and aligned goals. 
Good luck, and please feel free to share a time when you took the high road for the sake of your relationship.