Be grateful, be glad, and be joyful

I just saw a quote today that struck to the core of human relationships. It was written in 1790 by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."

As we head into the holiday season, we can approach the world in a few different ways. Having "The Christmas Spirit" through the eyes of Goethe might be to have a personal approach and a mood that will create a humanizing response to anything that goes on; forgiving, generous, hopeful. If you are a "Scrooge," you might be short-tempered, quick to blame, ready to pick a fight. Which temperament do you choose to carry with you this holiday season and for the rest of your life?

"If we treat people as they are, we make them worse." What does that mean? One thing I think it means is that if someone is grumpy or short with you and you respond in kind, you take yourself down to their level instead of bringing them up to yours. That only escalates the de-humanizing way we treat each other. If instead you react cheerfully and with humor and respect, "and treat them as they ought to be," you are both lifted to a level of common decency that you can feel good about. If they don't follow suit, it is their problem, not yours. Don't let them turn you into a Scrooge.

For this holiday season and the years to come:
Think of all that is possible, not about past short-falls.
Think the most of people, not about their short-comings.
Think how YOU can make things better, not about what others SHOULD do.
Call me a Pollyanna, but I'd rather be glad than mad. I'd rather look for the good in people and believe they are capable of great things, than assume the worst and prove my thoughts right.
Let's help people "become what they are capable of becoming."

I am grateful for my family, the people in my life, and the path that has lead me to writing this blog!
Have a great and grateful holiday season with family and friends.

A New Life is Calling Me- Weddings!

Have you ever been drawn to something and can't pull yourself away? I'm not talking about a car crash on the highway, I'm talking about a presence or event or activity in your life. Some people get obsessed by a book series, or their favorite TV show, or Facebook. I am now obsessed with wedding websites and wanting to be on one of them. I am officially announcing myself as a wedding coach. It's not like I haven't lived and breathed it for the better part of the last 2+ years. My son got married two summers ago. I wasn't that involved with the planning but it was a good primer for things to come and I learned a lot about how roles change and intertwine. My older daughter was engaged by that time, and we spent the next year planning everything down to the last detail (at least 13 different vendors) for their big day. It was a great experience! We finished the year with a super special wedding day and a stronger relationship. No horror stories for us, only teamwork, good planning, and fun! (Ask me about the mother-daughter dance).

My younger daughter is now engaged to her long-time beau. We knew it was coming and had talked about possible venues, themes, and priorities for the budget-a Swing Band for sure! You could say we had talked about her “High Dream” for the wedding day. Once the official engagement was here we were ready! We all kicked into high gear and had 5 key things booked in 21 days: our local church and choir, a fabulous historic reception site (priority #1), a caterer who is familiar with said fabulous site, a Swing Band, and the hotel block of rooms for all the out-of-town guests! Not bad for the fact that the bride, the groom and mom live in three different states! We have a budget outlined, and so far we are doing fabulously!

Planning a wedding takes an open mind, lots of stamina, good goal setting, budget minding, and time management skills, and the ability to balance the wants and needs of a lot of important people in your life. Now that I am a trained life and relationship coach, I am going to throw my hat in the ring and permanently live in the world of weddings! I belong here. I'm comfortable and experienced here. I'm not leaving my other clients (entrepreneurial women, moms), I'm just adding to them. They all have something in common; they are seeking a fulfilled, happy life and they deserve to have an advocate by their side.

I want to help Brides (and their moms) remain calm and in control while also enjoying the dreaming and exploring of options. I want to help discover what they want for themselves and their marriage. I want to help them consciously live the most exciting year of their life with a plan to strengthen their relationships with eyes wide open. No hiding behind hurt feelings or avoiding sticky subjects. And No Bridezilla's! No one wants to be that out-of-control person who is on the verge of tears all the time. There is a better way. And I can show them how. Having a wedding coach (AKA personal and relationship coach) is the answer to supporting the bride and the bride's most intimate relationships. It’s not just about the wedding day, it’s about the journey before and after the big day!

Know any newly engaged women or their moms? Pass this on!
Monica Leggett, CPCC
Life and relationship coach
Wedding coach for the bride and/or mother-of-the-bride (she needs help too!)
www.newstepslifecoaching.com
203-209-5462