Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a "Hallmark Card Day," AND it's an excuse to focus on your relationships. 
All relationships can benefit from some positivity, fun, and emotional connection.
So here are 5 Steps to a Happy Valentine's Day with your Life Partner
1. Let go of any pressing to-do's and concentrate on your partner. 
2. Smile
3. Show appreciation and gratitude for what your partner brings to your life- something like:  "I'm so happy you came into my life, you really make me feel special and loved."
4. Think about what you can do for the sake of the relationship (and not hold it over their head or as a reason that they should do something back).  Give it as a gift.
5. Stay connected to why you are with this person in the first place.

John Gottman, author of "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," states that in order for a relationship to thrive, you need a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interaction.
That applies to your spouse, your kids, your co-workers, and your friends.
Steps 2-4 above are all about positive interaction.
Remember that rule and add positivity to every relationship.

Happy Valentine's Day.
Monica

Together We Can Create for the Sake of Our Family and Friendships

We all know this famous phrase: “And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country.”
Fewer know the line that follows: “My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man. “

John F Kennedy spoke these words 50 years ago, on January 20, 1961. They were a call to all- to change their perspective away from being self-focused and toward being citizens of the world. I love that concept, citizen of the world. I’ve thought about these words for the last few weeks and wanted to turn it toward our relationship with loved ones.

I have taken the liberty of turning his phrasing into a motto for me on a personal scale:

“Ask not what my loved ones will do for me, but what together we can create for the sake of our family and friendships.”
What can we CREATE together? What can we deliberately do that will be for the sake of the family and friends, rather than just for me? In the long run we will benefit from the stronger connection that develops.

What might this look like in action?
• Put the laptop, iphone, or blackberry down and have a conversation
• Schedule time to do things together
• Outwardly speak words of praise, appreciation and acknowledgment
• Cook a family meal that everyone loves, even if it’s not your favorite or takes more time than usual
• Admit you are wrong when appropriate and accept an apology when it is offered
• Hold back judgment and offer acceptance instead
• Find a way to listen, even when it is the hardest
• Create clear boundaries and expectations so that there are no more toxic assumptions


The list could go on and on. What would you add?

Relationships are rarely a conscious goal, and yet when they are troubled or tension-filled, they cause the most anxiety for us. Take the time to write your list of ways to create a better relationship for the sake of your family and friendships.
Pick one thing you can do today, one you can do this week, one goal for each month of the year.


"Everybody talks about wanting to change things and help and fix, but ultimately all you can do is fix yourself. And that's a lot. Because if you can fix yourself, it has a ripple effect."
-- Rob Reiner, director

Winter Wonderland, Enough is Enough!

I live in the White Hills of CT and we have had about SIX feet of snow since December 26th- no exaggeration!  That came in the form of four separate storms dropping over 13-16 inches each, and then 4 other storms in the 3-4 inch range.  The snow barely has a chance to melt so the walls of snow along our walkways, driveways and streets just keep building and building.

At least I get to take some really beautiful pictures from my bedroom balcony.  What a view.

 My deck has two staircases leading to the yard.  One of them has now become a huge pile of all the snow removed from the deck and the upper balcony off my bedroom.  From ground to the top of the pile is easily seven feet.  My dog Celtie hops up there and looks out on her domain, guarding against stray squirrels and brazen deer.

Blizzard Ella passed over the country the last few days, dumping 2 feet of snow in Chicago, but not much here in CT.  We only got about 3 inches of snow before it turned into sleet and then freezing rain.  A lot of planes are grounded, stranding my husband in Arizona.  (Poor guy).  I didn't want him traveling home in what is showing up today-freezing rain, which is making the roads and my yard a shiny ice rink (elevated on 2-3 feet or more of snow.) 
Now my dog is finally able to travel the full extent of the yard instead of the meager pathways I have shoveled for her.  Check this out.

I plan to sit by my gas fireplace and work on some writing projects including a few workshops I'm leading later this month and my book, The Empowered Bride.
Hope this entertains you! 

Stay safe.
Monica