Monday, March 22, 2010

Helping someone in need

I had an opportunity to "step up to the plate" this weekend. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Read on:
My daughter and I were at my local library to pick up a form and a woman peeked out of the bathroom door looking very pale and bleeding from her arm. She was asking for help. The mother instinct kicked in as I walked her back into the bathroom. I could tell immediately that she had self-inflicted superficial wounds on her forearm, 20-30 long scratch marks. Some were old and scabbed and some were new and bleeding. I told my daughter to go get a library employee while I walked her to the sink to wash and wrap her arm. (Years of medical emergency background came in handy instinctively. Yes, I kept a towel between me her injuries.)
This woman smelled of alcohol, was about 35-40 years old, was crying and pleading for both help and to kill herself and was very weak in the knees. Her weapon of choice was some sort of plastic razor still laying just inside her purse.

As you can imagine, there were a million thoughts running through my head but the overpowering one was that this woman needed me desperately. I didn't have to fix her or diagnose anything or take her to the hospital myself. I knew help was on the way. I could have walked away in fear or waited outside until help arrived. But I was compelled to BE the help for those important 5 minutes. What she needed was to be held until a chair arrived, comforted as she cried, and listened to as she rambled in order to keep her calm. She had walked to the library to act on her urge to hurt herself in order to spare her 17 year old daughter from seeing her in such a state. I am glad I could be the one to "find her" in that state, rather than her young daughter. I am also glad MY daughter wasn't alone as this woman asked for help but I'm sure she would have been able to get her the help she needed on her own.

I asked the woman if I could get her wallet out of her purse. I found her ID card and could now call her by her first name. She also had a Dept of Social Services card so there was clearly a history of care. I asked her a few questions to engage her and let her talk. She kept asking me "what should I do..." I told her that if I was in that much pain and despair I would want to go to a doctor to get help. I think I was trying to prepare her for what would undoubtedly happen- an ambulance ride to the hospital.

The librarian called the police to provide the professional help she really needed. It was only about 5 minutes before the policeman arrived and I felt glad that I could give him the bits of information I already knew. As he took over, I stepped out of the situation, knowing I had helped this woman in one of the worst moments I can imagine.

I learned a lot about myself this weekend. I learned that my ability to stay calm and not try to fix anything allowed this woman to feel supported. I learned that I can be a little afraid and still help someone. I learned that I was a good placeholder until the experts arrived. I am grateful for having the opportunity to help a woman who so desperately needed my help.

2 comments:

Flan said...

Wow! Great job Monica! Of course you were able to help her out. That is what you do best.

Morgen M said...

Sometimes, being the one others turn to can be scary. You did a great job!